Saturday, April 1, 2017

BREAKING NEWS: Bulldozing Of Neglected Properties Begins

It appears Dorchester's initiative to clean up neglected properties has been taken to a new level.

Just after daybreak today, bulldozers moved in quickly to knock down the longtime vacant house at the intersection of 9th St. and Jefferson Ave.

The blighted home was reduced to a stack of rubble within a few minutes, according to one eyewitness.

Details sent to the Times report that a Lincoln-based construction company tore down the structure. 

One resident who lives next to the property told us he was glad to see the neglected house be demolished.  He said that for years the home has served no purpose "other than to provide shelter to rats, mice and snakes. And perhaps an occasional cat."

He mentioned that he had one regret, however.

"I just wish I could have knocked it down myself," he told the Times.

Our sources tell us the village won't stop here and that "several" blighted properties will be razed in the "coming days or hours."

The Times has also learned that several opponents to the demolition have caught wind of the plan and will be picketing on Main Street to greet the bulldozers.

The picketers are said to be considering raising a large banner across main street that says: "Don't level our cheap storage space!"


(UPDATE: Happy April Fools Day.)


  1. it is about time. to start getting rid of these run down places. they make the town look terrible. then maybe some can by the property and build a new home.

  2. OMG people the picketing has turned into a TRUMP Protest,, 83 people have been arrested, this is total craziness on maim drag , this is worse than when WKRP dropped the turkeys out of the helicopter,,, my god people take shelter!!!

  3. Aw, go ahead and disapoint me. :( thoght that was really happening

  4. I'd prefer a match, gasoline and some Talking Heads playing in the background anyway. ("Burning Down the House")


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